Ramble 1:

One of the positive results out of the isolation that has been the COVID-19 pandemic, is my realization that I really appreciation relationships, acquaintances, friends but especially family. So I'll start there. 

I have two children, a son whom I named Evan James, and a daughter whom I named Olivia Mireya. 

Evan's name came from two places, work and family. My first big girl job was at Boeing, Boeing Aerospace to be exact. One of the managers I helped support had a son who he named Evan. It was then that I wanted this name for my future son. My great grandfather, whom I've never met, was a James. It's a name I've always liked but didn't want it for a first name because he would likely be called Jim and I didn't like the name Jim. When Evan was born, I had the realization of what it was like to be completely in love with a human being. I adore this soul.

Evan James is complicated. He's my vision of a true Gemini, I do recognize that there are other planetary influences to a personality, but he definitely has two sides. He is artistic, mellow, peace loving, linear, intense, and sometimes angry. He's very open and honest, as well as secretive and sneaky. I think that being so conflicted would be a difficult thing to reconcile and I've witnessed this struggle in him in how he lives his life and the choices he's made. He actually reminds me of my father, his grandpa Henry. Evan has never taken to the trophy that can be academia, however loved to learn. He barely passed high school, preferring the social aspect, and went to 8 years of community college, took a wide range of classes and never ended up with a degree. Evan's social side has lead him to a career in the restaurant business. He's always been a very dedicated, hard working employee. He started working in the restaurant industry at the age of 16 and has been working in this industry in some capacity ever since. Now at the age of 31, he's a assistant general manager at the Shake Shack and on an upward trajectory. I'm so very proud of him and love him to pieces. 💖

Olivia's name choice was kind of similar, the family part that is. One of her dad's cousin's wife was named Mireya. Mireya was a beautiful, strong young woman and I knew once I heard her name that this would be a part of my future daughters name. It's a difficult name to pronounce; you pronounce the 'i' as an 'e', roll the 'r' with your tongue and the 'eya' is pronounced 'ay-ah'. I knew she'd have to deal with people mispronouncing this name most of her life, so it became her middle name. Now, what do you pair Mireya with? I had a list of about 20 favourite first names but none really felt right. Enter my sister Laura. She brainstormed with me and said 'how about Olivia ... Olivia Mireya?' It was a perfect fit. I have a cute memory of Olivia trying to pronounce her middle name. She was about 3, would say something like Me-yay-yah-yah-ah-ah-ah. It used to make me giggle. 😊 

Olivia is a spitfire and an avid learner. She cannot be doing nothing. I always said, and still say, she has two speeds ... fast and stop. As soon as she learned to crawl, she would get in her brother's face and be in his business. Because she was always in his face, they did not get along. He was always trying to get her to go away and she wanted nothing more than to be involved with whatever he was doing. I gained the skill of mediation. Once they entered into high school, magic happened ... they became good friends and still are to this day. Phew! I was so very grateful for this growth. Olivia was not easy to raise and I had to do a lot of introspection and reading on the topic of the strong willed child in order to raise her without constant conflict. She knew at a young age that she wanted to go into the medical field and worked diligently to attain that goal. Her inner drive has always been impressive and I greatly admire her. She has grown into a a beautiful, smart, funny strong woman who recently graduated from the University of Washington and is a DPT, Doctor of Physical Therapy. 💖

Ramble on & peace out! 

#Rambleon #parenting #iminmyheadalot #love #children #youngadults

I've been thinking about death lately. Experiencing death has not happened very often for me ... but this time it hurts. My Mum is slowly dying and it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to work through. My dad slowly passed on after about 2 years and as difficult as that was, it has not affected me the same way watching my Mum slowly decline to the point where she doesn't want to eat and is struggling to breathe has. It F&CK!NG S&CKS. 

You see, it's not even just about my mum ... it's also about my son and my daughter and the grief they're experiencing. My Mum was their second mother for many years. She was there for the three of us in a way that I don't know every mother would be for their child. 

My children were often sick when they were elementary school age at and being a single mother with an ex that offered no support and with no family in the area, I had no choice but to stay home with them. They couldn't go to school, they couldn't go to daycare ... they were sick. Eventually my supervisor called me in to her office saying she wanted to talk to me and I walked into to her office expecting a casual conversation but sitting at the table was my supervisor and a representative from human resources. My supervisor proceeded to warn me that I was taking too much time off and this needed to change. I reminded her that I was a single mother and had no choice but to take the time off. It didn't matter. This was an extremely upsetting experience because I was told when I hired on that it would not be an issue for me to take time off for my children. I talked with my Mum about this and she told me that she would stay with them whenever they got sick. This meant that when I knew my son was sick and needed to stay home from school that day, she would get up at 5 am and drive from Auburn across the Cascade mountain pass to my house in Yakima so that I could get to work by 8 am. I appreciate and love her so much for her sacrifice.

I listen to my sister say that my Mums situation "is in God's hands". I would really like to know what the he!! does that mean? Truly ... is God guiding my Mum through the process of her death? Does God really have time to watch every single individual on this earth and be involved in all aspects of our lives? While I struggle with her concept, I don't say a word even though I don't believe it.

I consider myself a spiritual person. I believe in most things spiritual and realize that each person's spiritual journey on this planet belongs to them and only them. Who am I to say no, what you believe in is wrong. So I just roll with it and don't say a word. 

I was gardening today. I absolutely adore digging in Mother Earth. I feel a connection and a oneness when I do. Yet at the same time I feel guilty for disturbing, and quite possibly destroying the home of another living creature. Be it an ant, an earthworm, a slug ... who am I to think that my plan of adding flowers and pulling out plants that I don't evasion in my space is a good one? Again death presented itself to me.

Evan James' ALS Ice Bucket Challenge - Hawaiian Style

PHOTOGRAPHY -- a means in which the unspoken word is expressed through the visual interpretation of the beholder ...

What is it about music that stirs the soul so? I've always been amazed at how music can bring everyone together; we become one whenever music is floating around the atmosphere. Take Bob Dylan for instance .. what an icon he has been! He's moved generations of music lovers .. beginning with folk music, moving on to the poetry sung to music, and than rock and blues rock. To this day, he's still as amazing as ever. I had the privilege of seeing Dylan live. He played at the Seattle Bumbershoot Musical Festival in September of 2010. I was standing in front of a LEGEND; in front of one of my favourite artists of all time. Singing and cheering right along with the crowd. I'll never forget it. Standing all together in one stadium were the many generations of music lovers .. brought together as one all because of music. 
Margo <3                      

Tangled up in Blue

Black & White Photography

             

        

Been awhile ...

Wow .. it's been awhile since I last blogged .. since March 2011. My life flipped a crazy 180* circle back then; I sought a job and was hired by an organization to join their team. An organization who took a chance on an inexperienced individual when it comes to the field of evaluation and consulting. Needless to say .. it's been a whirlwind of a ride absorbing and digesting information I had never been exposed to except in the research papers I've read during my recent college life. I also just completed my last assignment for my Master's coursework .. phew! I need to be busy doing and learning most of the time. I'm now wondering what to do besides lock myself in the house during these cold winter months and hibernate. Focus on building up my photography portfolio? Write the book I've been wanting to write for quite a few years? Learn to play an instrument? Write poetry? Remodel the house? Learn cross country skiing? Upward and Onward!